The Waffle House Rules

Caution: not actual WaHo waffles. However,
canned fruit, whipped cream, hash browns
and eggs give a good approximation.

When other eateries are closed for reasons as feeble as 'no electricity' or 'structural damage,' Waffle House keeps on truckin'. All they need is gas. Gas! Gas is all they need.

How to Measure a Storm's Fury One Breakfast at a Time Disaster Pros Look to 'Waffle House Index'; State of the Menu Gives Clue to Damage

Although pecan waffles require electricity, or at least a generator. Damn.



Once upon a time...

I was on my way back down from Orlando with D and we decided to stop at a WaHo for breakfast, or lunch, or whatever the appropriate meal was for that time of the day.

Unfortunately, there was a car in the Waffle House.

Literally. Because it's Florida, an elderly couple got mixed up between drive and reverse, gunned the engine, and put the car in the WaHo. I hereby grant permission to use that phrase as euphemism for sex.

Alas, we did not arrive in time to see it happen. But we arrived in time to see the panicked emergency evacuation, which consisted of people calmly eating their breakfast (lunch? whatever.) and new arrivals lining up to wait for tables. So we followed the emergency evacuation procedures and got in line.

Yes, that wall section is several feet inside the store.
No, WaHo does not usually have that sort of open-air feel.
Yes, the dude at the counter is happily finishing his meal.

It gave people something interesting to talk about while eating (or waiting), at any rate.

Eventually firemen and cops arrived. They were flabbergasted at the ill-considered and rash emergency protocols.

"Y'all in line need ta git. The folks eating their breakfast... er, lunch... their meal, git when ya finish eaten."

D and I were crushed. What were we gonna do without our pecan waffles?

Envious of the privileged who remained, placidly chewing their cud, we allowed ourselves to be herded away by the stern and burly firemen.

So we got back on the highway.

Then we got back off two minutes later, at the very next exit, and went to the WaHo there.

And then we ate happily ever after.
The end!