Why learn Japanese?

Because when the police pick you up for intervening in a fight between your friend and some random asshole (hereafter known as "asshole"), being able to articulate...

"Asshole kept attacking us respectable folks even though I apologized (without knowing, admittedly, what the hell we were supposed to be apologizing for) and told him we were leaving," while presenting Exhibits

1. bloody mouth 
2. torn shirt 
3. broken glasses 

and sounding like a reasonable human being while asshole is screaming "fuck you, pigs!"

...is priceless.

Also: asshole hit like a pussy.