15 Minutes of Fame

When the earthquake happened, I was on the way home on the Chuo line. The train had just pulled into Akihabara station when the world went a little crazy.

In the midst of the rocking and rolling, an email arrived on my phone. I imagined friends or family having seen the news on tv and attempting to find out if I was all right. Upon seeing whom it was from - a friend of mine who is a journalist at a major news publication - this idea was reinforced.

I opened the email.

It said, "arr."

DAÑOS SEVEROS Y MUERTE!

I was flabbergasted. For all I knew, the train was about to tumble off the tracks and collapse through the three floors of the station (which I would survive thanks to action hero-like reflexes and brute strength) and all he had for me was a piratical greeting?

I emailed back a rant intended to scorch his soul and fill him with shame for making light of my dire predicament.

He replied, "tell me more."

The results of that were printed in the next day's LA Times. Then it was reprinted all over the place.

It also seemed like a good idea at the time to let my parents know I was not dead. The first thing my father does every morning is sit upon his mighty throne and read the news, so I figured he would be aware of the earthquake and deeply concerned. However, his unhurried reply was, "Yeah, I already read you were alive in the paper. Also," he told me, the Orlando Sun-Sentinel and ABC news wanted to interview me.

Reveling in my newfound popularity, I quickly agreed.

The ABC interview was recorded by parents via iPhone and stitched together by me with iMovie, which I provide here for your entertainment.

Lessons learned:

• I say "um" way too damned much.
• When TV stations tell you they're doing the interview via Skype, yes, it will be video. Shave. Put on a nice shirt.
• Look directly at the camera. Do not permit its medusa-like gaze to turn you to stone.
• Brasil represeeeent!
• It's all too easy to become a whore for attention after that first tantalizing taste.

Easy come, easy go.